A Take on Dysphoria.

On 16th November 2016 someone asked Reddit/GenderCritical

Do You Consider Gender Dysphoria to Exist?

This sparked off some interesting point including one from Greenishdragonfly. I thought it was particularly informative. So with here permission I've copied it here.

Choice, Possibilities and Who You Are.

My daughters at a stage of life where she has all her choices laid out in front of her. It should be a great time, full of exciting possibilities.

I think she's decided the world of make-up and centring herself around men and boys is not for her. She may be attracted to women, she may not, but I don’t think she identifies with the vision of sexuality offered by either the world of women’s magazines or the world of porn. That makes sense, that’s healthy.

Drop the T from LGBT - Why I said it and should I have said it?

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Lessons for Parents from Two Survivors.

This post is inspired by two posts by women who have stepped back from trans.

https://b0rnwr0ng.wordpress.com/2016/10/18/strategy

https://mariacatt.com/2016/10/18/dont-try-to-convince-people-to-detransition-with-my-videos/

Both contain a lot of truth. Some of that truth is hard to take as a parent.

Trying to understand why so many young women have got involved with trans.

The wonderful Purple Sage Fem asked "Some questions for FtMs"

Gosh, I’ve been watching tons of FtM videos. I really want to understand. But I’m always unsatisfied, because everyone stays on surface level. I like to get to the root of the issue and tackle the hard questions.

FtMs who make YouTube videos always say they knew they were trans because of vague feelings of “not liking my body” and “feeling like a guy.” But how is this different from every other woman not liking her body and how can someone who is female feel “like a guy,” exactly?

So here is a list of questions, complete with follow-up questions, that come to mind when I watch FtM videos. I don’t really expect to ever get these answered, but here goes:

1. Please explain in your own words what a “man” is and what a “woman” is.

...... Full text in link

Some questions for FtMs

I've had those questions running round my head for months and I've thrown a lot of them at my daughter.

There good questions, they get to the root of the inconstancies of the trans doctrine and the dogma of Gender Identity and blow them out the water.

It took me ages to work out why they didn't work.

It Feels Better To Believe That

The wonderful Penny White says in her video on the Sex Trade How I became a prudish, pearl-clutching WHOREPHOBE 

Its very hard for me to stomach hearing journalists saying 'Sex work is just work' and I understand the appeal of saying that because it feels better. It feel better to believe that. It feel better to believe that they're just party girls having fun, its the girlfriend experience. Then you don't have to care about women in the sex trade. You don't have to care about them.

I'm constantly haunted by the question "Why are there so few of us? Why am I:  The Gender Critical Dad and not a gender critical dad.

I think it comes down to "It feels better to believe that"

Female detransition and reidentification: Survey results and interpretation

This is just brilliant. Word fails me when I try to think of what to say so I will just quote  the intro from Purple Sage Fem

Thank you very much Cari of Guide On Raging Stars! What you’ve done here is wonderful and necessary.

Read this survey to find out fascinating insights into detransition, such as most detransitioners DO have sex dysphoria, the average age of transition is 17 and average detransition is 21, they used to identify as FtM or nonbinary or genderqueer and now understand themselves as female. The most common reasons for detransition are a shift in ideological/political beliefs and finding other ways to deal with dysphoria. A whopping 65% of them had no therapy before transitioning, and only 12% felt they were given adequate information about transitioning.

Female detransition and reidentification: Survey results and interpretation

Being Me and Gender Critical Dad

My life seems split into parts. Walls of secrets delimiting them and twisting me. A lot of stuff to do, but it has to be put aside to talk rubbish about the telly with my daughter. Because actually that's the best thing I can do for her and the most important thing I do.

The life with my family, pretending to be normal, not mentioning trans, trying to keep thing real, showing love and a normal life in actions and habits. The life where I am a so-so dad, getting meals cooked, washing up, shopping, taking people places and fetching them back, taking the bins out.

Fighting Gender Activism in Schools

A chilling account of  transgender doctrine took over a school. I wish it had a happy ending, it doesn't.  Anyone with kids who think this can't happen to their kids is kidding themselves.

 
The following post comes from Emily. As you read Emily’s account, please keep in mind that the children supported in transitioning by the activism at Emily’s school are going down a path that may well lead to becoming a life-long medical patient, taking off-label hormones, and amputating healthy tissue.

Gender Activism in Schools 

Trans Goes Beyond Parody, Beyond Surreal.

There is really nothing more to say, excpet that the realson this is a link to a right wing site is because the left is so pinned down by trans.

There Was a Certain Rape: A Look Inside the Transgender Movement

Thinking Differently: Feminists questioning gender politics - The London Bash.

Went to Thinking Differently: Feminists questioning gender politics a few weeks ago. One of the most wonderful and strange experiences I have ever had. I felt I needed to write about it, but its taken ages to get my head around it and I really don't want to come over as "well done girls". Anyway here is how it felt.

I have to be undercover, strictly gender critical dad, no one must know the real me is there, particularly my daughter must never  know. Going to rad fem events and collaborating with other people to bring down the trans orthodoxy would really mess up the whole ignore-redirect-and-reward thing. So I'm avoiding cameras, I hassle the photographer, trying to explain why I can't be photographed, not sure if she believes me. 

Non Binary, Gender Fluid and other forms of Trans Lite

The incomparable Rebecca Reilly Copper has done this so much better than I could hope to, so I'll link to her fantastic essay and add some thoughts of my own.

https://aeon.co/essays/the-idea-that-gender-is-a-spectrum-is-a-new-gender-prison

This is really all about me and my daughter, so apologies if I end up sounding like a pompous arse explaining feminism. If real feminism had been available to her, I'm sure she wouldn't be where she is now.

Challenging the Dominant Narrative of Dysphoria

As seems to happen so much I waffle one about something and then find out other people have put ot so much better. So following so-just-what-is-gender-dysphoria here are the people putting it so much better.

http://guideonragingstars.tumblr.com/tagged/redefining-dysphoria a whole load of views on dysphoria

http://destroyyourbinder.tumblr.com/post/148365923205/this-video-is-for-you-dear-reader-dear Kat from Destroy Your Binder, discusses dysphoria and how gender critical and radical feminists can better reach out to young women with dysphoria.

There are more of these accounts coming out all the time see https://www.gendercriticalresources.com/doku.php?id=issues:dysphoria for the latest.

So Just What Is Gender Dysphoria?

Afte I wrote this, I found loads of people has done similar things but much better, which I wrote about here: http://gendercriticaldad.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/challenging-dominant-narrative-of.html

Gender Dysphoria is a recent term, when I was a kid it had not been heard of. Its become the latest trend in diagnoses to be applied to troubled young people, hot on the heels of anorexia, autism, bi-polar and if you can remember that far, Recovered Memory Syndrome

A friend asked me if there really was such a thing?

What is porn doing to our kids?

Perhaps its that I've been reading a lot of stuff by radical feminists, trying to make sense of all this trans bollocks.

I came across this. It is a very uncomfortable read but I think it does suggest to me a reason why so many young women are, in effect, trying to escape from being a woman.

Robert Jensen - Getting Off

Our First Glance In The Mirror: The Rowdy Boys

Whats In The Name - Part 3 Gender Critical

The term Gender Critical comes from Radical Feminism, I'm not going to mansplain radical feminisms use of the term, a start could be:

"Women do not decide at some point in adulthood that they would like other people to understand them to be women, because being a woman is not an ‘identity.’ Women’s experience does not resemble that of men who adopt the ‘gender identity’ of being female or being women in any respect. The idea of ‘gender identity’ disappears biology and all the experiences that those with female biology have of being reared in a caste system based on sex." - Sheila Jeffreys, Gender Hurts

I've used the term because I can't think of a better short and memorable way of describing an opposition to trans ideology and the doctrine of gender identity, what I think of as the Big Trans Lie. It's use to describe this opposition seems to be spreading.

I want to look at what being Gender Critical means to me, at why I am opposed to The Big Trans Lie.

TransActive Shutting Up Dissent - All Criticism is Hate Speech

TransActive lash out at any criticism, calling the very reasonable blog 4thWaveNow a hate site for daring to mention how they abuse and exploit trouble young people.

4th Wave is not a hate site. People threatening to kill people who oppose them is hate speech

Detransitioner in battle for justice with Jenn Burleton and Trans Active

Regular readers of 4th Wave Now will be very familiar with Jenn Burleton and the odious "TransActive Gender Center in Portland, OR.

A former client, Cari, who was interviewed a few weeks ago, is taking her complaints public. Burleton has responded in a predictably nasty way. Please share liberally, link or reblog if able, and if so inclined, make your thoughts known in the comments thread.

This is important. The coalition that is starting to form between young detransitioners like Cari, with parents like us, is a potentially powerful beginning. The gender orgs don't want to admit detransitioners even exist. Women like Cari are their worst nightmare.

https://4thwavenow.com/2016/06/12/jenn-burleton-director-of-youth-transition-org-dismisses-ex-clients-complaints-as-terf-infestation/

What I hope I never have to say.

I'm dreading the time when 'I want to' becomes 'I have' I don't know how I will deal with it.

When think about that time, I find myself thinking about what I would say:

You've made your decision, I can't change that, but I still believe it is a wrong decision that will cause you harm. You and other people tell me that I should accept that decision and support you in your brave journey. You may hate me for not agreeing with or accepting your decision. You may cut off contact with me or blame me for any unhappiness you feel. You may blame me for harm you do to yourself.

I know all this and still I believe your decision is wrong and I will not hide that.

Trans is now the cure for Lesbians.

This brave, wonderful, butch as hell and fantastic woman moved me to tears.

Not Your Usual Girl-NOT a Transgender Kid 

Science - Its just Transphobic.

If there's no male brains or female brains where the hell does Gender Identity live

"Sex, Gender and Brain. A Problem of Conceptualization" by Daphna Joel, Vienna 2012

makes me feel so incompetent.

Whats the Name About? Part2: Gender Identity

Gender Identity.

Gender Identity is a relatively new concept, essential to transgender doctrine. Without the acceptance of Gender Identity as unchangeable intrinsic attribute of human beings, there is no sense in the insistence that gender identity should be what allows entry into women's spaces. Without Gender Identity there is no sense in guiding children into transition.

If Gender Identity is not unchangeable and intrinsic, it can be a choice, an liking for one group of stereotypes over another or it is illusion about ones sex, in which case gender dysphoria is a cognitive disorder,not an incorrect body.

If its a choice, thats fine, you can choose what you like, but you can't require everyone else to accept that your choice changes reality. If  its a choice, it can be an unwise choice and there is no requirement to accept children's choice as an unquestionable right.

Social work professor speaks out on behalf of her FtM autistic daughter

This is so wrong, someone should be in court.

Dr. Kathleen “Kelly” Levinstein, PhD, LCSW, LMSW is a Professor of Social Work at the University of Michigan, Flint.  Among many other accomplishments, Dr. Levinstein was a Heilbein Scholar at the NYU School of Social Work, where she also taught, and has directed and provided clinical services for people with disabilities for many years, primarily in New York and New Jersey. A clinical and research social worker for 40 years, Dr. Levinstein describes herself as “the only out autistic PhD level social worker” in the world. Her research and advocacy work includes human and civil rights violations against the autistic community.

In this post and accompanying short interview, Dr. Levinstein tells us about the ordeal currently being experienced by her daughter who has undergone transgender medical transition. Dr. Levinstein also shares her thoughts about the current increase in young women with autism being diagnosed as transgender.

Read the full post from 4th Wave

What's the Name About? Part 1: Gender

Dad is obvious. Gender Critical is less obvious and I owe a lot to the idea, so I should try to explain it. Gender Critical is a big idea, so I'll start by trying to define what I mean by Gender.

None of this is original, I've nicked all the ideas from a book Gender Hurts by Sheila Jeffreys, a lecture by Rebecca Reilly-Cooper and lots of other radical feminists. 

Jeffeys  and Reilly Cooper are brilliant, but they use heavy duty academic language. Everything is precisely defined, every step justified.  When I read it, I know they have taken me from A to Z, but I can never remember the route.  I feel I've got it, and then it slowly slips away.

Gender is in some way related to sex but its not sex, so lets start with sex.  

Some People Confound your Prejudices

When peak trans hits you and you find out about the trans ideology, dogma and cult, its easy to forget that it does not represent or reflect all people who for whatever reason, choose to live as the sex opposite to their birth sex.

Its easy to lose sight of the tolerance and respect that we owe all people. That ideologies can, by misrepresentation, exploit the very people that claim to represent.

I'm so grateful to this guy, for teaching me not to hate trans people on sight.

Jen Bob - You Tube

First surprise was that he was so likeable, he wasn't insisting that anyone see him in any particular way. I'm using male pronouns, but I don't think he'd give a damn, he'd laugh at anyone getting in a tizz about it.

Second surprise was how open and honest he was about his experience as a trans woman and his motivations.

Final surprise was that, despite, or because, he is a pretty happy tranny (his word), he called out the bullshit that is the trans dogma.

Ignore, Redirect and Reward - Dealing with Unreasonable Behaviour.

I am not a therapist. I do not have the skills, training or experience to attempt any sort of therapy or counselling. Even if I did, I cannot have a therapeutic relationship with my child, we have too much history and to much at stake to be non-directive or or explore stuff.


The following is not therapy and it's not very deep. It won't give you a dramatic moment, where your child breaks down and accepts just how right you have been all along. Life is not like it is in the movies.

It is advice given to me by someone who has a great deal of experience in dealing with troublesome behaviour and getting them to a better place. Someone who does know what they are talking about.

It gives me a way to carry on day to day without reinforcing or collaborating in the trans delusion. It helps me to avoid damaging confrontations. Its easy to remember and recall when you feel yourself getting wound up.

Keeping secrets, being hated, hoping and waiting.

Good parents love their children. They want the best for them. They want them to grow into independent, happy adults. They enjoy being with them. They feel proud of their achievements and support them in their challenges, They are there for them in their setbacks and drop everything to be there in their despair.

Good parents accept that their children have to choose their own way. They have to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes. As the children grow nearer to adulthood, they may offer guidance but never give orders.

Being a Minority of One.

“Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.”  - 1984

First I should make clear that I am catching up with my story, events in this post and the previous all happened a while ago. I'm in a calmer state now, still scary but not paralyzingly so. Also thanks to my editor, you know who you are, and all the wonderful people who are helping me to become a writer of sorts.

My daughter has decided to become a man, wants a mastectomy and testosterone, the group that she'd been going to, it turns out to be a cult, teachers I trusted had been enabling her delusion to boost their self righteous liberalism and pompous patronizing tolerance . I'm supposed to come to terms with this and support her on this brave journey, but just I could not buy it.

Hitting Peak Trans and Becoming a Minority of One

The difficult first post, how I got here.

I have a beautiful, witty, smart wonderful daughter. She's always been quite quiet, shy but determined when she sets her sights on something. Late to puberty, lost her last milk tooth only a few weeks ago age 16.

A couple of years ago, she told us she was lesbian, our reaction was that we wondered when she was going to tell us, as far as I can tell we were totally relaxed about that, then after a while she was bisexual, fair enough its all a bit academic in my view until you start fooling about with other people.

She asked permission to cut her hair, we'd never said she had to have long hair, I thought it was a fine idea, she could never be arsed to look after it, and had the bone structure and long neck to carry it off. She got it cut and looked fantastic, you could see her smile so much more and her lovely eyes.

She got into wearing men clothes more and more, and  wearing sports bras, then a binder, but hey I dressed like a fright at her age.

She dropped hints about trans stuff, nothing specific,  just a bit of Social Justice Warrior rubbish that kids say.

In her small group of school friends, people seemed to be changing sexual orientation, then gender identity became the latest trendy thing, we decided to just ignore it, wait for the next thing to come by. She started going to a gendered intelligence support group, which I imagined to be a bit like a feminist consciousness raising group.