Friday, 28 October 2016

Drop the T from LGBT - Why I said it and should I have said it?

A few weeks ago I tweeted that LGBT should 'drop the T'. The phrase is not new, its been around for a few years started by a gay man, I believe.  I got pretty well told to mind my own business and someone asked who the hell else is going to stick up for FtM young women? Its a good question and I'm really not sure they are not right.


Why I Said It.



Years ago I worked in an industry where a lot of the women were lesbians. They were a good bunch of people, fun to work with. We were all young, they had affairs and dramas, awkward times and broken  hearts, just like the rest of us did. If anything they did this with a little more dignity than the straights, especially the blokes.

It was a time when there was a strong feminist movement and community. There were strong women and pretty men in pop music and that's all they were. Men who were pretty and women who were strong. There was a feeling that the way men and women related was changing and that feminists and lesbians were driving and informing that change. Men had to pull their weight and change how they thought about love and sex.

So when, almost 3 years ago, my daughter told us that she was lesbian, we were both fine about that, To be honest we were waiting for her to tell us. I assumed that since we now had gay marriage and gay and lesbian national treasures, things would be OK for her.

I assumed that the gay and lesbian organizations and movements and community would welcome and accept her as she is. That they would tell her that she was fine as she was. She could meet wonderful people and sleep with some of them if she wanted to, in whatever way she wanted. They would be able to negotiate relationships based on equality and trust and respect. Where lovers looked each other in the eyes and wrote their own love stories.

Instead I found that LGB was  now lgbTQ+ with the T and the Q in charge. What follows does not claim to be a a fair representation of LGB culture and organisations. Its my impression of what I have come across. With a some ideas and attitudes nicked from Sheila Jeffreys.

Queer is no longer the reclaiming of a slur. It is a glorification of relationships based on power, on dominance and submission, on pain and degradation. It is the denigration of tenderness. It is the worship of the objectification taught by porn. Sex is no longer the meeting of people, with valued personalities and bodies, to share and collaborate in mutual pleasure. It is merely the playing out of roles in the pursuit of a better wank. It is longer the protection of minority sexual orientations. It is the imposition of the sexuality of public school dormitories, the Bullingdon Club and countless frat houses.

The Trans in lgbTQ+ is no longer about the acceptance and protection of people who decide to live their lives as the opposite sex. Now it's the fetishisation of gender. It's the denial of the different ways people can be their sex and themselves. It's the constant performance of one or other gender or a multitude of trans lite genders, with the ever present anxiety about how one is seen and the slights and insults of mis-gendering and incorrect pronouns.

Just being lesbian is now no longer seen as valid. It is merely being someone who hasn't trans yet.

So yes I'm pissed off at LGBTQ+. I feel they have let my daughter down and left her in a bad vulnerable place. A place where she is open to abuse and pushed into some very bad decisions. A place where she will struggle to build healthy relationships.

Should I Have Said It? 

 

I really don't know. I know a lot of lesbians have people they care for become FtM. They still care for them. Maybe they are defeated, maybe they have just been dragged down the trans road further than I have and have had to work out their own deal with acceptance. It something I'm dreading and really can't face thinking about.


Should I call on the LGB community to drop the T?

I believe the TQ will leave Gay and Lesbian communities and culture as merely subcategories on YouPorn.com. Or perhaps a clothing and hair theme, like punk, goth or grunge. But I'm just a straight bloke, perhaps is just a thing for women and gays and lesbians to sort out. If you go down that road you leave it it trans advocates woh will say its a trans thing and LG people should shut up and support them.

At some point you have to say: This Is Wrong.



10 comments:

  1. I am 63. I saw how mass culture of Free Love betrayed women, it was male-pattern sexuality disguised as liberation.

    Having been groomed and abused since age 2, I am sensitive that men tell me lies. "Don't trust mom and dad" "I'm your true friend and know what's best"...

    And, the abusers required my silence. And, "this doesn't hurt" they'd laugh.....

    Nobody should silence you, dad. Trans are bullying. As a feminist I have decades of listening to women dissent and sometimes one or another of us is wrong. Or, I disagree with their imperative. Overall, I never stopped calling myself a feminist even in the Reagan 80's of go-go-go consumerism empowering women with cigarettes and sexay powers.

    I'm lesbian and gay friendly having one of each (they are natal sibs) in my adoptive family.

    I fear both my sibs especially the femme man would've been transed and I would not have them later in life now due to Adverse Side Effects from non-approved and quite dangerous regimens in the form of cross-sex hormone use.

    I was part of the feminists who "broke silence" about rape and incest.

    I did not "break silence" and regain my voice as a woman and survivor of PTSD from male sexual violence to surrender it to another MAN telling me "it's a girl penis" or "don't listen to someone X because bigot".

    The time has comme for public discussion unhampered by identitarian ideologues who would stifle my free speech.

    No I won't join an Orwellian world where I'm told black is white and male is female.

    There could have been a different outcome. Transgender could have built their own movement but they highjacked gay and lesbian rights for their own heteronormative ends.

    Transgender today is the same old male supremacy, silencing and bullshit I have seen in previous "liberation movements".

    In the words of Jordan B Peterson whose work on the communications under totalitarianism and that I've actually read some of his writing, and with whom I agree on the danger of stifling Free Speech, "I will not mouth their words".

    I won't.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's not a 'like' button on blogs lol so just commenting to say love what you wrote and the wisdom you shared here

      Delete
    2. Don't know if you'll see this, but thanks for taking the time. Its really great to get positive comments.

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  2. Very well put. You managed to express some of the feelings I have myself had about this.

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  3. Hi, so I'm 14 and a lesbian. I have made a blog called GenderCriticalTeen - http://gendercriticalteen.blogspot.co.uk/?m=0

    I would appreciate it if you checked it out. I think what you're doing is great. I've been silenced so many times and I refuse to be anymore. Thank you for what you are doing.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Shit I've only just seen this comment. Just looked up you blog and I love it. Its so inspiring to see that young people can see thru the plinky plonky patronising bullshit of trans propaganda.

      You are an absolute hero.

      Delete
    2. The blog is not there anymore.

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    3. I have no idea why she took it down. I fear she may have been intimidated

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  4. I'm a lesbian and I support that petition...actually I think lesbians need to divorce the whole mess and go back to having lesbian feminist communities again. Even when it was just LG, it was still a parasitic relationship with gay men refusing to share their more abundant resources with lesbians. Not to mention, as illustrated in "Unpacking Queer Politics" there were other conflicts of interests.

    LGB has something in common as it has to do with who you love and not with wanting to change your sex and we can be allies against the trans madness. At this point, I prefer associating with straight people against the cult than lesbians supporting this insanity. However, I think the best thing for lesbians is to have our own organizations and stop catering to literally every other group out there. Bev Jo pointed out that unlike other oppressed groups, lesbians seem to be helping literally everyone but ourselves, including people who hate us.

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  5. Yes, drop the "T". The trans movement is completely at odds with gay pride. Trans is not gay pride; it is gay shame. At least in some cases, a trans woman is actually a gay man who is so ashamed of being gay, he mutilates his body to hide the fact. It's a way of having gay sex, but making it look straight. The gay community should not support transgenderism. They should be encouraging these people to accept themselves as they are. If they could be comfortable with the fact that they are gay, there would be no need to transition. Gays and lesbians are just being themselves, whereas trans people are phonies. The gay community seems to be sending mixed messages.- Alex www.transgenderchildabuse.com

    ReplyDelete

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