A Parent's Voice - If You Pray, Pay for Her.

This blogs been a bit quiet for a while. I've been busy, helping set up and do the admin for this:

 https://gendercriticalresources.com/Support

The Gender Critical Support Board is run for parents and families by parents and families who share the experience of coping with a child, teenager or young adult who believes she or he is transgender. 

We are critical of the phenomenon of transgender youth growing at epidemic rates. 

The forum provides support for parents and families who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender dysphoric child. 

The board wasn't my idea. I don't want to say who it was in case I dump them in it, but really I just do the techy stuff. We started it up in August, it got mentioned by 4th Wave Now in the middle of September and then it really took off. 

The people who come are just amazing. 

Trans activists would have everyone believe we are unsupportive, intolerant, bigoted hateful parents who are prepared to see our kids die rather than face up to the truth. The people who come are just parents who love their kids, like all parents they will fight like hell to look after their kids when something threatens their kids.

Its all about giving space to parents to tell share stories, somewhere to learn they are not alone. 

This is just one story of many, that someone PM'd me and asked me to share. Its heartbreaking, but very far from exceptional. I've changed names and places and removed some detail to protect her and her daughter:

So Proud To Be Part of This

4th wave now has just announced a support board for parents. I am so proud that I helped to set it up.

From https://4thwavenow.com/2017/09/16/new-support-forum-for-parents-of-gender-dysphoric-kids-young-adults/

New support forum for parents of gender-dysphoric kids & young adults

A message from forum members Niniane, Kellogmom, Gender Critical Dad, Marge Bouvier Simpson, Mary, & Cat

There is a new forum for parents of gender dysphoric kids, teens, and young adults. We’re here to provide peer support for parents who would like a thoughtful and cautious approach to intervention for their gender-dysphoric daughter or son.

I am so proud to be part of this. Its great that parents are starting to come together

Seems I Am a Hate Criminal Now

The Guardian ran a piece today: Police investigate online abuse against charity for transgender children 

From the article: 

The charity, which supports transgender children and their families, said it had been falsely accused of “enticing” children by attending recent Pride UK events.

One tweet sent to the charity included a poster that described Mermaids UK as a “dangerous cult”, saying staff planned to “groom gay kids”.

Mermaids UK’s chief executive, Susie Green, said she was falsely accused of forcibly castrating her transgender daughter. “They [people on Twitter] have referred to my daughter as my gay son and I have been accused of chemically castrating her,” she said.

Sometimes I Should Just Shut Up And Read.

From https://giaqualia.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/female-socialisation/ Its worth going to the page for the accompanying pics.

You’re so pretty.
You’re adorable.
You’re beautiful.
You’re my beautiful little girl.
Sweet little lady.
Careful! Don’t get hurt!
Play nicely.
Don’t get dirty.
Stop that.
Be more ladylike.
Don’t eat too much.
Shhhh.
Quiet.
Girls are duuumb!
Girls have cooties.
No girls allowed.
Hahahahaha! You have boobs!
Look at her boobs!

 Now go to her page for the rest.

Parents and Detransitioners: Mutilation and Delusion, and a Transogenic Society

I talk with a lot with other parents and like them others I follow the writing and videos of de-transitioners. 

Many are incredibly insightful, articulate and passionate. The produce great stuff like this From GuideOnRagingStars:

Obviously they give us hope. Those kids got out, our kids could too. We invest huge hope in them and end up projecting our hopes, our feelings onto them.

And that is dodgy as hell, really dodgy. 

Gender Is In the Mind of The Beholder: An Act of Perception, Interpretation, Mapping and Judgement.

What is gender? A social construct or an innate property of a person? Where is it located, the mind, the brain or the body? When does it come into existence?

Trans theorists have answers to these questions, not all the same answers, mind you. There are many millions of impenetrable words, many careers built on generating, teaching and policing the approved ideas about gender.

So here, I am an old bloke, who does stuff with machines, in a shared workspace, One of those groovy places where internet entrepreneurs do whatever they do when they start up.  On a chipboard desk, sat over from a load of strangers, young enough to be my kids. I'm about to expound on stuff that people with multiple liberal arts degrees have made a living on. With a 40 year old CSE grade 1 in English and an in depth knowledge of low borderline obsolete technologies.

How is your daughter doing these days?

I've got a backlog of other things to write about, but they are all daunting and I've been procrastinating. I think this is something I can just write about. 

Someone on Reddit asked How is your daughter doing these days? Which is really nice and very touching.  Rather than just answer on reddit, I thought I write here for anyone else who either worries about her and me, and also to share with other parents.

The thing is, people fall into the trans cult in very obvious, very hackneyed ways. 

Trans Kids, Lets All Blame the Parents,

Lots of trans kids on the news and one parent, who'd been in a BBC program and whose child had be set up as poster child by trans, appeared on twitter, tried to explain herself. People piled in, picking up on some possibly unwise things she had said. I commented harshly about her.

We portrayed her as a Munchhausen homophobic parent who would rather have a trans daughter and than a gay son. 

I think we had a chance to reach out to someone who could have pulled their child out of the trans machine. I think we blew it.

Just found this from a couple of years ago. Shes says so much, so well.

So much to learn from this. Its a great lesson for men and warm, compassionate and accessible explanation of why women have to have women's spaces and set their own boundaries. 

Again and again I hear people criticise women generally, and feminists in particular, for not accepting transwomen as “real” women and for “excluding” them. Trans people are oppressed, they say, and these so-called exclusionary behaviours and attitudes create the dogma behind this oppression just as racism is the dogma behind the oppression of Black people. It is misguided, they say, and dangerous and is called transphobia, which makes you, me, anyone who doesn’t agree with them, a bigot who deserves to go to hell with all fascists and racists.

Click for full article What is A Woman?

A Call for an Alternative Treatment path For Dysphoria

The following appeared on my twitter feed from Rosemary Goude (@greengoude):

I thought it was beautifully written and a very humane and moving call for a better way to deal with dysphoria.

I'll keep a copy of it here.  As a reference and an inspiration.

People Want to Fight Back.

Someone tweeted me. Ive read your blog! Ive hit peak with that CPS crap... theyre indoctrinating our kids and I want to fight back.

Well that scares the hell out of me. I'm just a dad who failed to keep his daughter safe from trans. I can barely organise my own life, let alone a political movement.

Feels Like a Movement?

I've been quiet for a while, there's a big project in the pipeline, but now I've more time to write.

This is sort a reply to a comment in reddit: help_put_pressure_on_the_washington_post

This is a great idea. I suggest you email the author of the 4th wave now site, as a large number of GC parents of trans-identified kids read that site. /u/GenderCriticalDad might know more parents, as well as Penny White (I don't know how to contact her -- she has a YouTube channel, so maybe that way?).

More and more people are popping up who have hit peak trans, want to resist the trans  hegemony or want to support what people are doing. Which is really great, but posses difficult challenges..

There's groups coming together, but its all word of mouth or friends of friends, I was approached, but only after starting this blog. Two people took a chance, sussed me out and introduced me to others.

News About an Old Friend.

Someone told be about an old colleague. He had been a friend, we had a lot of mutual professional respect and similar politics. I'll call him Mark,

Mark has a son, he'd had previous problems, bullied at school and lashed out at other kids. Now Marks son is trans, wants to be a girl, or is a girl, or something.

I could of found Mark on linked in, could of got in touch, have someone to share stuff with.

Google Realy Gets it Wrong

When you google "Gender Critical Feminist"

Someone on reddit pointed out that if your google "Gender Critical Feminist" the first result your get is from a trans activist site explaining that "Gender Critical Feminist" is a euphemism for TERF (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist) which is backwards, a slur and suggests that GC Feminism is all about picking on poor suffering trans women just because they were born with a genital deformation.

Someone then pointed out that 4th Wave and Myself came out on the first page.

Opposing the Transing of Children: Priorities and Strategies - Hearts and Minds.

Someone tweeted.  (https://twitter.com/CrimsonFlax/status/821356821696888836)

[I ]Keep reading people who oppose gender affirmation model saying "some kids will benefit from transition" & keep thinking, really? Assuming >

They're referring to extreme body dysphoria aka BDD & BIID. I've seen nothing suggesting that physical interventions are best practice >

for these conditions. So I guess it depends on how you view 'beneficial' but it sounds like appeasement to me - politically & in practice. 

I guess  "people who oppose gender affirmation model" includes me and the people I collaborate with in opposing the transitioning of kids and young people and the industry, dogma, ideology and activism that has grown up around it. When I say ‘we’ that’s who I mean. In this post I'm only speaking for myself, although I have discussed this with other people to clarify my ideas.